Egypt Is Pissed Because Some Russian Porn Star Is Having Sex At The Pyramids And Filming It

KFC 3/11/2015 10:45 AM

Moscow Times - Egyptian authorities have launched an investigation after a porn film emerged starring a Russian-speaking couple engaging in sexual activity near the Sphinx and pyramids of Giza. The female star, identified on several industry websites as a 25-year-old Ukrainian who performs under the name Aurita, is shown exploring the ancient site on a sunny day with a Russian-speaking cameraman. The couple is told by a passerby that they can’t film in a certain area, but they ignore him and find a secluded spot between two high walls where they engage in a sex act, according to a seven-minute trailer released online. The couple then walks over to a crowded part of the pyramid complex where they are hounded by souvenir sellers. The film’s star, scantily clad in a yellow top and short shorts, flashes a breast at the camera several times. Several local media outlets picked up the story, and it has incited an outcry in the conservative, mostly Muslim country, Newstime Africa reported last week. An Egyptian antiquities authority, Youssef Khalifa, reportedly suggested that the pornographic footage might have been filmed in a different location. But a day later Antiquities Minister Mamdouh al-Damaty confirmed that porn scenes were filmed within the vicinity of the pyramids. “There is unlawful footage of pornographic scenes in the area of the pyramids made by a foreign female tourist,” al-Damaty said in comments carried by Reuters. He added that the case has been transferred to local prosecutors.

Hey Egypt have you ever heard the phrase “theres no such thing as bad publicity?” I dont think you have. Because this is a huge PR win for Egypt. Egypt would basically be dead last on my list of places I’d ever travel. Its like half Middle East, Half Africa. Terrible combo. Its old as fuck. Hot as shit. Sandy as all hell. I feel like theres nothing but snakes in baskets all over the streets. Oh and did I mention its haunted as fuck? Curses and mummies all over the place. Egypt is a hard NO in my book.

But after watching this chick suck some dick outside the Sphinx I’m at least like a little more intrigued by Egypt. I mean its still a hard no in my book but now at least its a hard no, know what I mean? The quickest way for me to think about something in a positive light is to associate it with me getting my dick sucked. So instantly after this video I’m thinking “Hey man, maybe Egypt aint so bad. Maybe if I go there and get my dick sucked in the Valley of the Kings it would be pretty fun.” I’ll march right into a cursed tomb like Howard fucking Carter if I think there’s a blow job waiting on the other end. I suppose I can understand that Egypt takes this shit real serious. Some dude busting a nut in Ramesses II’s eyeball probably aint what all the Pharaohs had in mind when they had like 2 zillion slaves make the biggest fucking tombs of all time. But this is 2015. Tourism equals money, baby. And nothing attracts tourists like the idea of wild vacation sex. Embrace this shit.